Also, bears were hunted to extinction in California by the Spanish years before it was even a state. This makes no sense, since everyone knows that bears are badass and Awesome and California is full of lily-livered panty-waisted liberal whiny sissies. Davy Crockett kilt him a bar when he was only three. Let us know what you think of the website. If you're in a place where all four walls face South, then you are at the North Pole, and any bears passing by will be white. The Best Of The Firesign Theatre for free, and see the artwork, lyrics and similar artists. just maul you as a baby bear. Don't trust that bear's shit. This can be accomplished with heavy artillery and explosive ordnance, but even then is not definite.

It is common to see bear families consisting of a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear, though inexplicably they will all have different preferences for soup temperature and mattress softness. To promote The Simpsons Movie, convenience store 7-Eleven marketed a Duff-branded energy drink. They are more apt to befriend pigs and humans than to eat them. Because bears are powerful but lazy, they are the perfect metaphor for a declining economic market. Bears are so dumb they just wait at the mouth of a river or waterfall with their mouth open and wait for fish to plop into their mouths, instead of just going down to the local fish market like my mom does. (And obviously they eat some dead things because they kill things and then eat them. Fighting is right out. First cut a hole in the ice with the icepick, then carefully place frozen peas around the rim of the hole. He is a survivalist who likes to wedge himself into dark crevasses and drink his own pee on camera. Another safety precaution is to just kill any bears you come across. But they do know that this bluffing behavior often tricks their nervous prey into giving themselves away, at which point they will kill you dead and then eat you.

Now also “Stem Cell Lite.” “Not available in America.”) -. The Berenstein Bears were horribly mutated anthropomorphic bears that wore clothes and taught heavy-handed preachy lessons decrying television, candy, and any other forms of fun-having. They are easy prey for Bengal tigers, who are much more proactive and dangerous. If your archery skill is high enough, you could probably take bears out with a couple of arrows to the head.

Bears are usually creepy loners, but have been known to commit their stupid crimes in groups. The bear is the official state bird of California, even appearing on its flag. Log in Register. Leave feedback. Even at the zoo, don't get to close. Cryptic Background Reference: Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers is full of all kinds of apparently random throwaway details that give a bizarre dystopian Zeerust feel to the setting of its action.

You can't swim away, because bears are excellent swimmers. Home Brewing Beer. They will pull your ass through the bars and chew the skin right off of you like an overconfident peacock if given half a chance. Search forums. Koreans claim to be partially descended from bears. Are the laziest of all bears, which is really saying something. There are only a few proven ways to avoid being killed by a bear. There's a local brand of "Bear Whiz Beer" in upstate Minnesota, the logo for which is a Funny Animal bear peeing in a lake. Search titles only. The computer game The Secret of Monkey Island parodies Coca Cola with its red-and-white trademarked Grog logo. Listen to Bear Whiz Beer from The Firesign Theatre's Shoes For Industry! You can't hide, because bears will use their sense of smell and digging claws to open up and get at anything (outhouses, cars, cabins, crates, bee hives). Because fucking look at it. The product may serve as a stand in for brand names, and in that capacity may be a vessel for mockery of the marketing culture associated with brand name products (e.g., Duff Beer from The Simpsons; Buzz Beer from The Drew Carey Show). Add lyrics on Musixmatch, Javascript is required to view shouts on this page. Their only known enemies in the wild are tigers, sharks, and humans. You can't climb a tree, because bears are natural aficianados at tree-climbing. Americans visiting here apparently like it -- nobody else who drinks beer for the taste does. If a bear hugs you in some sort of.. uh... type of hug or whatever, you are most likely doomed. Edelweiss Bear Take Out 1. Even if you are a bear-loving naturalist who has spent decades getting to know a group of wild bears, slowly acclimating them to your presence and familiarizing them enough that they are comfortable with you 'booping' them on the nose, and even if you somehow feel 99.99% sure that those bears love and trust you and the idea of violence against you never crosses their simple bear minds... that doesn't mean that some other asshole bear from two territories over won't come along and maul you to death. Except for Bear Whiz Beer. What's new Search. This includes any woods and forested areas, zoos, circuses, Bear Island, Paddington Station, Russia, or Canada.

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