12.

Nothing left. Reblogged this on Enlightening, i'n't it?. However, the comedian's new material brought him success from the younger counterculture. Quote: The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. So at best the sanctity of life is kind of a selective thing. Like the public. It spent 18 weeks on the New York Times' best-seller list. Pack your shit, we’re goin’ away.

You see all, sooner or later. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked. Lenny Bruce was an American stand-up comic and satirist who became a target for prosecutors and a poster boy for freedom of speech.

That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. It simply does not give a fuck about you! The pair collaborated on a morning radio show in Fort Worth before relocating to Hollywood, where they attracted the attention of the legendary Lenny Bruce. 45.

He also starred as a cab driver in The George Carlin Show from 1993 to 1995. Got a pencil, get the fuck in there, it’s physics. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. He is survived by his second wife of ten years, Sally Wade.
Plus he knocked up your daughter.” “We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nit-wit who at the age of ten not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus.”. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they’re against homosexuals. When George was an infant, she left Carlin's father Patrick, who was a national advertising manager for the New York Sun. Let me get a sip of water here…you figure this stuff is safe to drink? Carlin published Brain Droppings in 1997. You may unsubscribe at any time. It’s because volunteers work for no pay. When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. I don’t quite agree on some of his ideas but most of the stuff he says really make me laugh. Awfully sorry.”. Carlin went on to become a popular stand-up comedian, author, and film and television actor. I can’t follow the logic on that one at all!

14. You don’t have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work.

1. Pretty neat deal, huh? Reblogged this on Safe Haven and commented: Their 35-year marriage produced a daughter, Kelly. It creates a hostile work environment. We strive for accuracy and fairness. You Are All Diseased (1999) is abundant with his trademark satire and profanity about American family life. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. One great thing about getting old is thatyou can get out of all sorts of social obligationsjust by saying you're too tired.- George Carlin, Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?- George Carlin, Inside every cynical person,there is a disappointed idealist.- George Carlin, Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.- George Carlin, If a man smiles all the time,he's probably selling something that doesn't work.- George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy,but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,dishonesty is the second-best policy.- George Carlin, I don't like to think of lawsas rules you have to follow,but more as suggestions.- George Carlin, Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.- George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization.- George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.- George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is becauseI'm the only one whose answers I accept.- George Carlin, One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friendsis that three out of four murdersare committed by people who know the victim.- George Carlin, No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.- George Carlin, By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.- George Carlin, If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,then I'd have to say that the universeaimed rather low and settled for very little.- George Carlin, The IQ and the life expectancy of the average Americanrecently passed each other in opposite directions.- George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.- George Carlin, I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;I loathe and despise the groupsthey identify with and belong to.- George Carlin, So far, this is the oldest I've been.- George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. You never hear them say “Jesus made me drop the ball.” “The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.” According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. George Carlin (2015). No nothing. Bomb them!” And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. They don’t want to hear from you. But he says it well so it all looks convincing. Never join a group that has a name. He loves you.He loves you and he needs money.- George Carlin, What we think, we become.All that we are arises with our thoughts.With our thoughts, we make the world.- The Buddha, I don't think of all the miserybut of the beauty that still remains.- Anne Frank. Where are these people hiding? We’re gonna save the fuckin’ planet? 42. On June 17, 2008, just five days before his death, it was announced that he was being awarded the 11th annual Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.

18. 35. Fred Astaire was an American dancer of stage and film who is best known for a number of successful musical comedy films in which he starred with Ginger Rogers. 26. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac? 20. As a self-professed atheist and avid cocaine user, his adversaries deemed him anti-religious and disrespectful of society. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, “Why not?” Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that shit. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line, I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me. He loves you and He needs money.
Carlin's first wife, producer Brenda Hosbrook, died on May 11, 1997 of complications from liver cancer. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers, but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh), The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,deliberate, contrived and dishonest,but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.- John F. Kennedy, When you keep getting the wrong answers,try asking better questions.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, If a million people say a foolish thing,it is still a foolish thing.- Anatole France, If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, Cheer for endings - whether goals have been met or not -whether the ending is tidy or ragged.Without endings, there would be neither the opportunitynor the incentive to think new thoughts,and to begin great new projects.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, When you think you're out of time,smile, and turn back the clock.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie. I’m an acrostic: the whole thing puzzles me. The sanctity of life doesn’t seem to apply to cancer cells, does it? 5. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist, there’s another thing; the only blacks you’ll find at country clubs are carrying trays. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people. Electricity is really just organized lightning. And they all vote. Fascism won it. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Actor George Reeves was best known as Superman on the popular 1950s television show The Adventures of Superman. The book included his comedic take on life, society and politics. If you see something that doesn't look right, contact us!

You know why?

In 2006, he provided the voice of Fillmore, a hippie Volkswagen bus, in the animated Cars.

How can [God] be perfect? You’d think they’d make natural allies. The function of education is to teach oneto think intensively and to think critically.Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.- Martin Luther King, Jr. You can do what you have to do,and sometimes you can do iteven better than you think you can.- Jimmy Carter, You are braver than you believe,stronger than you seem,and smarter than you think.- A. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music. Two years later, syndicated columnist Mike Barnicle was suspended from the Boston Globe, after he had plagiarized passages from Carlin's book. And a boring game. 38. ... Once again, the late, great George Carlin upended reality: ‘“If you take five white … Everything He ever makes dies.”, 9. Carlin enjoyed moderate success until the mid-70s when he re-invented his image and adopted a less conventional, somewhat vulgar comedy routine. They don’t mention anything about cursing a lack of candles. We made the whole fucking thing up! When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat. Nothing changed.- George Carlin, Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:It attempts to work things out so thateveryone gets just enough stuff to keep them fromgetting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.- George Carlin, Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man... living in the sky. They will do anything for the unborn. After a general discharge in 1957, he took radio jobs in Boston and Fort Worth, Texas. Believe me, my friend. Learn about us. We don’t even know how to take care of ourselves; we haven’t learned how to care for one another. Florida, Age, Temperature. - George Carlin. Thank God for that. It’s like watching flies fuck!

In July 1972, Carlin was arrested for violating obscenity laws in Milwaukee after his infamous routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television.".

When it comes to God’s existence, I’m not an atheist and I’m not an agnostic. George Carlin, George Carlin - Fat People ... everybody is happy, the IQ of the country slips another two or three points and pretty soon all you need to get into college is a fucking pencil. Over the next three years, Carlin earned his high school equivalency and moonlighted as a disc jockey at a local radio station.


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