Timing is everything and that means your witty answer must be as fast as the words that took you by surprise. 7. '", "There are two sides to every story, but you're a douche in both of them.". Read our analyses of … So use them with vengeance against any mean person. You’re a person of rare intelligence. Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? George is completely dumbstruck in the moment, and it's only later on that he finally figures out his perfect comeback: "Oh yeah? It has everyone’s sympathy. Witty comebacks can be a great social tool to utilize, so practice it as the skill that it is. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Don’t bother leaving a message. If I had a dollar for every brain you didn’t have, I’d have one dollar. Will it be alright if I ignore you right now? In case your favorite comeback isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. You’d laugh and the jerks would be very pissed. So keep your ear tuned to what general approach you want to take when it is time for you to speak. The trick to filling in the blanks of your comeback is to be fully confident in what you think of the situation at hand. If your brain was made of chocolate, it wouldn’t fill an M&M. Read more, Comebacks when people make fun of the way you look, Funny relationships, dating and hook up comebacks, Funny replies to everyday sayings and nosy questions, Funny replies to rude parenting questions, Snappy Comebacks for All Situations Bundle, How to answer stupid breastfeeding and pregnancy questions, Hi, I’m Bryn and I created this site to help people with, Top ten comebacks for someone who doesn’t have a, Top ten comebacks to insults when people attack your. I’d like to kick you in the teeth, but that would be an improvement! According to Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant who once worked with a condescending manager, when banter turns toxic, it means death for innovation. You’re so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are KFC. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. your so Fucking fat that the only letters you know is kfc, your so orange, even umpalumpas would hire you for a job, Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. I’d like to help you out. "If you're gonna be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Thanks for helping me understand that. '", "If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a terrible warning." If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart. Forget the ugly stick! Your ambition outweighs your relevant skills. You fear success, but really have nothing to worry about. Had a laugh with our funny insults? Check out really funny laffy taffy jokes we found for you, Check out really funny trucker jokes that will make you laugh. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. They can only be made in the moment using the unexpected material you get from the other person by listening actively and precisely, experts say. ", "When guys say 'suck it,' I always reply with, 'Sorry, small objects are a choking hazard.'". What are you doing here? We hope you enjoy this website. You’re so ugly, your mother had to tie a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you! Is your name Maple Syrup?

The good news is that the list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into — from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. I don’t think you’re unintelligent. You just live. The co-worker says, "George, the ocean called. It’s way to small to be outside by itself!

If a crackhead saw you, he’d think he needs to go on a diet. Looks like you fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. The Village just called. They're running out of you." 7 Best Mean Comebacks From Reddit. I couldn’t warm to you if you were on fire. ", "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it. Perfect the steps to developing a good comeback, and get used to seamlessly performing what is on your mind. The best part of you is still running down your old mans leg. Have you ever worked with someone who was so insecure, overwhelmed or fearful, that he or she constantly spewed negative smart-aleck remarks, off-colour comebacks or thinly veiled insults? It’s great to see how you don’t let your education get in the way of your ignorance. Others will find the humour in them and you may see negative interactions quickly cease. It's totally frustrating after an argument to have a great thing to say at the completely wrong time! Learn more. ", "Why don't you check eBay and see if they have a life for sale? You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity? The key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills so that you can respond at lightning speed. There are more calories in your stomach than in the local supermarket!

... That witty comeback text ALMOST marks the end of today’s article.

You’re so ugly, the only dates you get are on a calendar. Once you’ve listened to the material and armed yourself with a general approach, it’ll come time to fill in the finer details of your comeback. They are funny, they are witty—but their underlying meaning depends on your prudence. I fart in your general direction. You’ll be nervous, as your witty remarks can totally fail. To start the fun, enjoy an insulting quote from one of my favorite comedies. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? By then, it's too late. When you need a comeback, but still want to keep it classy... "Methink'st thou art a general offence and every man should be thee." Now I know that some snappy comebacks are a bit over the top, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Say, “Hey, I’m a bit busy at the moment. Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to the difficult people in your life? One strategy to hone listening skills is through a simple game of one-word volleyball, where two people build a story by rapidly taking turns to add a word to what the other said immediately before. Ever feel like you don’t know what to say to the difficult people in your life? Believe it or not, almost everyone of us has been in such a situation one time or another. Shade! You’re so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet. Why don’t u go get one. Our site includes quite a bit of content, so if you're having an issue finding what you're looking for, go on ahead and use that search feature there! Read about our approach to external linking. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

16. ~A co-worker just won’t leave you alone? So, what did you do with the diaper?”. At the page end, you can vote for your favorite comeback. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS. Below you’ll find the best of them. Witty comebacks can be a great social tool to utilize, so practice it as the skill that it is.
Below you’ll find the best of them.
If the material you gather is not worthy of a good witty comeback, then the comeback itself will fail. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. Substituting the details in the final stages of witty comebacks should be easy if your general shell stands on good solid ground. —William Shakespeare, "All's Well That Ends Well", RELATED: Sorry Not Sorry!

They take one look at you and die of shock.”, Man: “I’ve had my eye on you. If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Hmm…I don’t know what your problem is…but I’m going to bet it’s really hard to pronounce…. You must have a very low opinion of people if you think they are your equals. Your dad’s small finger is bigger than your whole personality. Your head is so big you have to step into your shirts. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date. You’re so fat, your double chin has a double chin. If you know anything about this character, you'll know that George is so adamant to use his comeback on that co-worker that he actually flies to Ohio from New York just to try and set up the scenario again! To them, it might come naturally, but any action can be further deconstructed – no matter how complex. So just as a precautionary method (and not a medium to insult others and throw witty replies at innocent people), let’s take a look at such turbulent times when you desperately require some comebacks and insults. YOU CAN KISS MY ASS*. You’re as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.


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